11 Years!

Tomorrow, my husband and I will celebrate our 11 year anniversary. We had no idea what marriage was going to bring us, but the Lord knows that sometimes it is best that we don't know what is coming. I never thought that I could love my husband more than on our wedding day, but I do. We have been through many, many joys together and many more trials. Some of our biggest joys have been the birth and adoption of our children. And yet one of those children has been and still is our biggest trial.
I just want to take this moment to thank my husband for being my leader and supporter through every joy and trial. Thank you for reminding me to put my eyes on Christ and deal with one thing at a time when millions of things are swirling together and making me overwhelmed. Thank you for loving me even though I still can't cook well and I can never keep up with the housework. Thank you for helping with the housework without being asked. Thank you for loving our kids and helping to raise them. I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Raindrops and Lost Keys

I haven't posted in a very long time. It isn't because there isn't anything going on, but because I don't know what to share.
Michael has been home for almost 3 years now. We had always heard that when you hit the 1 year mark, you would feel like everything was "normal". Everyone would have settled in together and the family would be meshing into one unit. However, we still haven't hit that point. It has been a huge trial to deal with all of Michael's behavior issues.
However, over the last few months, the Lord has sent a few songs my way that have helped me to focus more on Him. One song is "This is the Stuff" by Francesca Battisteli. She talks about losing her keys, and her phone, and getting a speeding ticket. Then she talks about how this is the stuff that God uses in our lives. "It might not be what I would choose." But we have to trust Him. She also sings about how in the middle of her "little mess" she forgets how big she is blessed. Before marriage, I had been told I may never have children of mine own. But God gave me two biological sons that light up my life. He also gave me a princess for a daughter. I'm still not sure what He is teaching me through Michael, but He has placed him in our lives for a reason.

The other song is by Laura Story. Here are some of the lyrics:
"We pray for blessings
We pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things

Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise"
The trials of our journey with Michael definitely make me long for Jesus and heaven. There have many sleepless nights and many hard, very hard, very difficult, terrible days. But there have been a few days where we have seen hope.

This next week, I ask you to join us in prayer. I have a meeting on Monday to get Michael into a school for children with emotional impairments. We have heard excellent reports from this school and it has taken us a lot to get to the point of having an opportunity to get him into this school. It will get him away from the teachers that insist on continuing to feed him milk/cheese and sugar. We have found that when he is not getting the dairy and the processed sugars, he can control most of his behavior. However, his current teachers insist on feeding him graham crackers (which have sugar), milk, cheese, and other foods he shouldn't be eating. Then they lie to us about it, but Michael's behavior shows otherwise and he admits to eating those things while at school. It has been a long hard battle with the school and took calling the district superintendent to finally make some progress. Please pray that the Lord would help me to stay calm, yet firm in the meeting and demand in a respectful way for Michael to get the help and support that he needs to learn how to act appropriately. Pray that the new school will be cooperative with Michael's dietary restrictions and willing to keep open lines of communication with us. Please also pray for Michael's psychiatrist as she works with him and with us to determine medication changes and dosage changes to best help Michael be successful. It would be so nice to have a child that can really truly be a part of the family. Also continue to pray for safety for our family as we deal with Michael and the behaviors that he exhibits. Pray that even though blessings can come through raindrops, that we would see some rays of sunshine in the days and weeks to come. Help us continue trust Christ in every trial and joy that we face. Help Michael and the other children to see Christ through us.

It's been a long time!

It has been a long time since I have pulled up my blog to write a post. I have been very busy and quite honestly did not know what to share. It has been a long few months. We have had great struggles with the school system trying to get Michael help in school. It amazes me that even after they saw how he was, they still insisted on rewarding him for doing bad things. It has made me struggle with the fact that we cannot afford to have me stay home or for us to send him to a school of our own choice.
At the very beginning of June, we found out that God had blessed us with another child and then on June 12th that baby went home to be with Jesus. I praise God that we were able to know that the baby was there before we lost her. The first one we lost, we didn't know about until he was already gone. Also on that day, Aaron graduated with his Associate's degree. A few days later, Alisha graduated from kindergarten.
Alisha has made great progress in school. In January and February, we though she was never going to learn to read. She would sound out every letter of word but could not put them together to form the word. But she ended up the school year reading simple books. She is so excited to read and is reading signs and books to us all the time.
Matthew is still doing well. He got an electric guitar for his birthday and is now taking lessons. He has found that is very difficult, so we have to remind him that the outcome will be worth the work of lessons and practice. I think most kids struggle with that part of learning to play an instrument.
Kevin is growing up so fast. I can't believe his 3rd birthday is only a few months away. He is so smart and cute. He makes me laugh all the time. (well most of the time) Now if only he would figure out the potty training thing. He loves to "swim" in the pool with Matthew. He loves going to the park no matter how hot it is outside.
Michael has challenged us the most. He has had a few good days here and there, but most days have been filled with challenging behavior and a nasty mouth. I'm not sure where he picked up a lot of what he says, but he has come up with some awful stuff. However, we have finally gotten some help that seems to be working. After he beat me up on Tuesday, Aaron talked to the psychiatrist and we adjusted his treatment. Since Wednesday, he has been doing pretty good. Not perfect, but manageable. I finally feel like there is hope. He has smiled more in the last few days than he has in months. He went to VBS at my parents' church yesterday and was pretty good.
Please keep praying for us as we seek God's direction in raising these precious children.

Michael Update

our kids with their cousins on mommy's side of the family

our kids with their baby cousin (daddy's side of the family)



Alisha's new hairdo.


We are asking that everyone join us in prayer for Michael. We have kept somewhat quiet to the most for a long time, but we feel we need a lot of support at this point. Michael has struggled with some physical and behavioral problems since he came home almost two years ago. We worked with our former pediatrician to try to get answers for some of the physical problems to no avail. She didn't seem to be very interested in finding solutions. She wasn't really interested in listening and seemed to minimize any of my concerns. We have tried what seems like a million things to deal with the behavior issues hoping that once he had been here for a year or so, he would get adjusted and begin fitting in. But as the year mark came and went, we found that he wasn't settling into the routine of family life and was having more and more issues. Since he has been in preschool this year, he started getting better and then took a turn and seems to be progressively regressing and getting worse.
We started seeing a new pediatrician this last week. She listened to me and seemed very interested in trying to find some solutions. We talked for over half an hour. We have started doing some medical tests and she called today requesting a few more tests based on some preliminary results. We are hoping that they can find some answers for him.
We have also been recommended to a counseling center. I am going to try to call them this week and investigate whether they can see him and whether they take our insurance. So please join us in prayer for our little guy. He is obviously hurting inside and we want to be able to help him so that we can enjoy spending time with him. Pray for peace for our family as we face these trials and the turmoil that he can create in the home.
The other kids are doing okay. They get stressed out with some of Michael's behaviors, but I believe that they are really trying to help him most of the time. Matthew is doing fabulous in school still. Alisha is improving greatly over the past few weeks, but still has a long way to go. Kevin is learning so much lately. He really amazes me.

Merry Christmas

Well, it has been quite a while since I have posted. It has been very busy and stressful around here. But Praise God for wonderful friends and family that have helped out and continue to help out in many different ways.

Michael's behavior is like a rollercoaster. He is great one week and terrible, horrible, awful, etc. the next. It used to be a few good days and then a few bad days. Now it seems to change by the week. It is very challenging to deal with. I'm hoping he improves for the next few days so that we can enjoy the holiday together.

Matthew passed his level 3 Red Cross swim class. He is so excited and does so well at swimming. It gives him an outlet away from Michael. He needs that.

Alisha is struggling with school. It breaks my heart that I can't just poor the information in her head and have her understand it. I wish I could stay home and homeschool her, but financially that isn't an option.

Kevin is the light of our lives. He makes us all laugh. I love driving at night with him. He loves all the Christmas lights. It is great to listen to his excitement.

We have enjoyed reading through a special advent story the past few weeks. It has been a really good reminder to focus on the true reason for the season. Thank you God for sending Your Only Son to earth just for us. Thank you for loving us even when we really do NOT deserve it at all!!

Please Pray

Please pray for Michael as his behavior has gotten worse today. We are facing new challenges and we don't know anything else to do except to fall to our knees before our Holy and Merciful God and beg for help.

Update

I feel like I should give an update and yet I never have the time to sit still long enough to write one. Michael is still struggling with behavior issues. We had our first parent teacher conference for him last week. It lasted around an hour. We met with his teachers and then we met with the behavior specialist. They all seem to really care about him and about helping him be successful. They are already working on setting up a plan to help him transition into kindergarten next year and be successful. Keep praying!! He needs a lot of prayer!
Alisha is starting to make some progress in kindergarten. It doesn't come easy to her. But she really tried tonight when we worked on her homework. Praise God!
Matthew is loving school and doing very well. He is excited about learning.
Kevin is always sick. I get him over one cold or croup or strep, and then something else hits him within two weeks. It is very frustrating. He feels yucky all the time and he is very clingy when I get home from work.