God gives and takes away, Blessed be the name of the Lord

The Lord has been using Matt Redman's song "Blessed be your name" to encourage me to bless the name of the Lord. The song says my heart will choose to say blessed be your name. It is our choice. Circumstances should not change our praise to our Lord. I saw this video on a friend's blog and it reminded me to choose to praise the Lord. You might want some tissues when you watch it.

Our littlest man is 1 month old today

I can't believe a month has gone by already, but my littlest man is officially 1 month old. He is a very sweet baby. He has some very serious looks most of the time. He is beginning to watch us when we talk to him and starting to smile and "talk" to us a little bit. He loves to look around when he is awake and he likes to push up and try to "stand" on your lap if his feet can reach your lap when you are holding him. He is growing so fast.

Surprise!

While I was checking email yesterday, my computer made a weird noise and I figured out it was Skype. I had a voicemail from the orphanage. They said they were making calls and there was a little Michael that wanted to talk to his family. So I hooked up the webcam and speakers and called them back. Michael is so cute. He seems very shy to the idea of talking to people on the computer, but they tell me he doesn't talk much at all. Alisha sang Jesus loves the little children to him. It was neat to watch him. He was very distracted this time because there were a whole bunch of bigger girls standing around him waiting for their turn to call their families. It was funny to watch them try to peek over Michael to see who he was talking to. I heard the orphanage director telling him who we were. Matthew didn't talk much to him, but he was very excited to tell everyone that we talked to Michael. What a cool surprise to have a chance to talk to my little man. I hope seeing and hearing us will help his transition when he comes home.

God is in Control

The other day when we got the news about our file going backward, I mentioned that I had found comfort in the Psalms. I wanted to share one with everybody today. God truly directed the Psalmist to describe how we can feel at times during an adoption. Once again the Psalmist meditates on God's previous works when he (the psalmist) is feeling discouraged. He talks about his enemies pursuing him and his heart feeling faint. God truly can help us when we begin to feel faint. That is how I felt with the news about our file. But God tells us in Isaiah 40:31 (NIV)

but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

Here is the Psalm I would like to share with you:

Psalm 143 (New International Version)
A psalm of David.
1 O LORD, hear my prayer,
listen to my cry for mercy;
in your faithfulness and righteousness
come to my relief.
2 Do not bring your servant into judgment,
for no one living is righteous before you.
3 The enemy pursues me,
he crushes me to the ground;
he makes me dwell in darkness
like those long dead.
4 So my spirit grows faint within me;
my heart within me is dismayed.
5 I remember the days of long ago;
I meditate on all your works
and consider what your hands have done.
6 I spread out my hands to you;
my soul thirsts for you like a parched land.
Selah
7 Answer me quickly, O LORD;
my spirit fails.
Do not hide your face from me
or I will be like those who go down to the pit.
8 Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love,
for I have put my trust in you.
Show me the way I should go,
for to you I lift up my soul.
9 Rescue me from my enemies, O LORD,
for I hide myself in you.
10 Teach me to do your will,
for you are my God;
may your good Spirit
lead me on level ground.
11 For your name's sake, O LORD, preserve my life;
in your righteousness, bring me out of trouble.
12 In your unfailing love, silence my enemies;
destroy all my foes,
for I am your servant.

Well...

I got an email from our lawyer in Haiti. She said that MOI (where our file has been for almost 5 months) is not accepting any name changes as of a month ago. But with our file they have decided to just send it back to Parquet (the previous stage, part of 2nd legal) for confirmation of the name change. She said that they can ask for more documentation but they cannot reverse the adoption. She said she is going back on Friday to check on all the files and she will keep in touch. Praise God for her being willing to fight to get our files through and for her being willing to take the time to email me and answer my questions. So we will just keep on praying and "prepare for rain". (If you don't understand that expression then you need to watch the movie "Facing the Giants". I saw that Walmart has it for about $14.)

Brokenhearted, Crushed, Hurt....

Those are just a few words to express how I felt yesterday. We got a message from the orphanage that our file has NOT gone to get the passport printed like they said. Instead it is being sent back to the last step in the process. How can this happen? I spent several hours crying off and on. My kids kept asking me why I was crying. I finally told Matthew that it was "big people stuff" and he probably wouldn't understand (I didn't want to get him discouraged and wasn't sure if he would understand.) Then he looked me in the eye and said "Is it going to take longer for Michael to come home?" (I can't even type that without tears.) I had to tell him yes. He really is having a hard time with the waiting. I could tell when we called Michael last week that it was difficult for Matthew. I went to my parents for dinner and I couldn't even put much food on my plate, because I hurt so bad. My mom asked what was going on and all I could do was cry. I don't understand how a little boy that has legally been my son since May can't come home for me to take care of.
Last night before we put the kids to bed, we read our Bible story and started singing. It was difficult to sing at first. Then I was ready to be done and Alisha announced that she wanted to sing "Pharoah's men". I was a bit confused and didn't know what she was talking about. So I asked her to sing it. Aaron picked up on it fairly quickly then and we figured out what she meant. This is the song:

Well it’s a story about Paul and Silas how they were bound and thrown into jail

They kept on praying, they did not worry, they served a God who could not fail.

And then at midnight God sent and earthquake

That whole foundation began to shake

Those prison doors flew open wide

And Paul and Silas stepped outside.

Chorus:

Yes, He delivered me in my time of need

Like those Hebrew children from that fiery flame

Like He fed five thousand with two fishes and bread

And He walked on the water

And He raised the dead

Well He stood by Daniel in the lion’s den

And He saved old Moses from Pharoah’s men

He opened the eyes of the blind to see

I know that He’ll deliver me.

Well it was David my God delivered when before Goliath he did stand

He took no armor he took no weapons, just five stones and a sling in his hand.

When he went running to meet that army

He met the Philistine man that stood mighty and tall

He said I come in the name of the Lord

And how that mighty man did fall.

Chorus:

Yes, He delivered me in my time of need

Like those Hebrew children from that fiery flame

Like He fed five thousand with two fishes and bread

And He walked on the water

And He raised the dead

Well He stood by Daniel in the lion’s den

And He saved old Moses from Pharoah’s men

He opened the eyes of the blind to see

I know that He’ll deliver me.

He opened the eyes of the blind to see

I know that He’ll deliver … me.

As I started singing that, I realized that in spite of the pain I have to trust God. I have to keep on praying. I DO serve a God who cannot fail. I then spend some time reading some Psalms. My head is filled with doubts, but my heart is giving those doubts and fears over to God. I have a sense of peace in spite of the pain. Please continue to pray for Michael's health and safety. His arms are starting to look better, but they still have quite a few marks on them from that rash that he had before. My arms ache to hold him and love him and pray that God will grant him a peace when he comes home so that he can bond with our family quickly.

Video Call

I didn't get a chance to post again after our video call to Michael on Thursday evening. We hooked up a webcam and downloaded Skype so we would be able to call Michael. The orphanage has Skype, so it doesn't cost either of us anything to call each other using Skype. It took me a few minutes to figure out how to get Michael's picture up on the screen, as I had never used Skype before. The kids had a blast talking to Michael. They found it amazing to be able to see him. Michael doesn't talk much yet, so he didn't really say anything to us, but he sat and watched us. When we called him by his Haitian name, he would get more interested and study us. I hope we will have another chance or two to do this before he comes home. I think it will help him to at least recognize us and make the transition a little easier when he comes home. I am praying for his transition to be smooth. I know it will be a very stressful time for him. At two years old, he will leave the only home and "family" that he has ever known and move to a whole new country, with a new language, a new family, a new schedule, a new name. So please pray for him even now that God would prepare him for the transition. I can't wait to have him home and be able to hold him in my arms and tell him face to face how much I love him.